Photo credit: Moat Hill Photography via weddingsonline.ie

We did it. We finally have a date – 24 May 2013. We booked our ceremony venue today – a beautiful civic space, with lots of natural light. We don’t do ‘city hall weddings’ like they do across the Atlantic, and Dublin City Hall has only recently opened its space for civil wedding ceremonies, but we’re so glad they have, because for us it’s just right.

I spent more time than I’d like this week listening to a tinny synthesizer play Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony and a hearing robotic voice tell me that my call was being connected to the operator. It took quite a while for us to find a date that worked for the civil registrar, the ceremony venue and ourselves – but today, the stars aligned, and we got it.

You might have noticed from previous posts that we’re quite indecisive people. It takes us ages to pick a film to watch, and even longer to decide where to go on holidays, so in some ways it’s not surprising that it’s taken us this long to find a date and a ceremony venue. I think all that time has been worthwhile though, because there was no panic when we did eventually make the decision, just excitement that it’s finally happening, and relief that our first big planning task has been accomplished.

We still have to find a reception venue though – our next task. Preferably somewhere in town, that can hold 100 people, serves amazing food, has space for dancing, and won’t break the bank. Shouldn’t be hard, right? Answers on a postcard please.

 

Rodin's 'The Thinker' by Stuart Gustafson 

So, as I’ve mentioned on here before, we’re planning a secular wedding, and my Dad is a devout Catholic. Not an unfamiliar situation for plenty of Irish people in my generation, I’m sure, and yet, one I’ve come across remarkably little advice in the blog-o-sphere on how to deal with. Except for one fairly universal piece of wisdom – to tell him that this is what we’re doing, gently, and hope he understands.

I put off this task for ages – first because we weren’t doing any concrete planning, and then because I thought we should make definite plans and then I’d break it to him after the decisions were made and we knew exactly what we were doing. Turns out, neither of these were good ideas. So once we started actually going to see venues and narrowing down the list of places we were considering, I finally realised that I should tell him that this wasn’t going to be a church wedding, and give it time to sink in, before we chose our final venue.

My biggest fear was of the questions that would follow my announcement. Ones like – so, don’t you believe in God anymore? (No, I haven’t broken that one to him either, and yes, I accompany him to mass at Christmas and on my mother’s anniversary. Maybe that makes me a hypocrite but I’m not sure I care). Questions like, don’t you believe that your mother’s in heaven? Not things I wanted to answer, and I couldn’t see how to avoid them. My only thought was just to keep saying ‘This is what we want, and this is what we’ve decided’ over and over to avoid breaking bigger bombshells than I intended. Everyone kept telling me that it would be fine, that he probably knew already in some way, and just like when Badger and I moved in together three years ago, he would be fine about it and not try to influence my decision or change my mind.

And he was fine, as it happens. But I’m still not entirely sure he understood what I was saying. I told him that we’d started looking at venues for the wedding and mentioned some of the ones we liked – deliberately not mentioning any churches. I used the words ‘civil ceremony’ over and over again. I used my compromise trump card – that I was happy to involve a family friend, who is a Franciscan monk, in the ceremony or the speeches that will follow it in some way, but that this man wouldn’t be able to legally marry us. I even paused after each piece of information to give him time to think. And all I got from him was ‘yeah’ at the end of every sentence. It’s hard to write that it a way that doesn’t make it sound flippant or patronising, but honestly, it was neither. It was just him processing it, I think. But there were no follow-up questions at all. I’m not sure what I was expecting – as a traditional Irish man of his generation, he was hardly likely to take an active role in any of the planning. I suppose I just thought he would have his own opinions on the matter – but maybe, being wiser than I anticipated, he kept them to himself.

As it happens, my brother was eavesdropping on the whole conversation from the next room, and asked me how it went afterwards. When I said that I didn’t think Dad understood what I was saying, he disagreed, and said that there was no way he could have misunderstood. He reckons that Dad is disappointed, but not as much as I feared he would be, and that it will sink in more over the coming days. My best person suggested I stage another conversation in front of my Dad, maybe with my brother or a sympathetic family member, where we discuss how it’s going to be a ‘civil ceremony’ again, and make clear that there will be no church involved. In the meantime though, I feel like now I’ve told him, we can press ahead with plans. We’ve actually started to narrow down some possible dates (hurray!), and now need to cross-check these with venues and registrars to see what works. I’ll keep you posted – but would love to hear from anyone with similar experiences of breaking the news to parents about having a different sort of wedding to the one they might have expected.

 

So, finally, we come to Galway. Since this is where we've been trying to base ourselves over the last year - you might think it would be the most obvious place for us to get married in. However, in Galway we seem to have the opposite problem to Cork - plenty of party/reception venues, but not so many ceremony ones that we like.

Lunch: Kai or Aniar

Photo via kaicaferestaurant.com

Photo via facebook.com/AniarRestaurant/photos 

Depending on numbers for lunch (and on whether we're going to stick with this concept or abandon ship and just feed everyone once for the sake of simplicity) we are spoiled for choice in Galway. If it's quite a small group for lunch, Kai Cafe has a lovely private room upstairs - alternatively, we might just book out the whole place. Kai's food is relaxed, simple and delicious and I'm a huge fan of Jess, the Owner/Chef, and have been following her around to whatever restaurant she's been working in since I moved here a few years back. Aniar is for serious gourmets - lots of foraged food, creative cooking and beautiful presentation. I've yet to try it myself, but everything I've heard about it has been really positive.

Ceremony: Nun's Island Theatre 

Photo via http://stagedreaction.wordpress.com/tag/love-and-money/

This is a tentative option as I'm still waiting to hear back as to whether this space is available for civil ceremonies, but I really, really hope it is. The theatre is housed in an old Presbyterian church in a part of Galway that I love - tucked away down a residential street near the River Corrib. So many potential ceremony venues that I've loved in Galway aren't available for weddings - including the refurbished Aula Maxima in the university and the third floor gallery of the Museum, so we're really down to the wire on this one and I hope we can find something! Other long-shot options include Druid Theatre and the Norman Villa Gallery.

Reception: Ard Bia, Eight Bar and Restaurant or Rouge

Photo via ardbia.com

Photo via eight.ie

 Photo via rougegalway.com

Ard Bia is a brilliant restaurant on the Long Walk in Galway in a beautiful old stone building, with a quirky mix of decor, excellent choons (and known for its fabulous rave brunches) and lovely food. We are fans. They can just about hold our numbers over two floors - not ideal as not everyone could see everyone else - but still a good option. Eight Bar and Restaurant is also a huge favourite of ours - it's a glass-fronted space down by the docks, which does fantastic food (their thrice-cooked chips are a thing of beauty) and really good group deals - including 3 courses for €20, which is an absolute steal. The only drawback is that it would be a serious squeeze with our numbers. Finally, there's Rouge, a French wine bar and restaurant on Dominick Street - which has a piano for people to play, a great wine list, although would also be tight for our numbers,

On a practical level, whether we have our wedding in Galway will really turn on whether we can find a ceremony venue that we like that can hold all our guests. However, the whimsical side of me just really wants to have it here so we can go for a stroll on the prom in Salthill (and kick the wall), take cheesy photos on the diving board, have prosecco at Sheridan's Cheesemongers, or pints in the sunshine outside Neachtains. So if anyone out there knows of a great ceremony venue in or around the city that can hold 100 people, I'm all ears! 

 

As I’ve mentioned before, Badger and I are very fond of Cork: we met there, went to college there, lived there for six years, and still miss it (or at least I do, Badger is constantly excited by *new* things). It would mean a lot to us if we could get married there, although since neither of us live there any more, we might need some extra help in organising it *ahem*. While I work on the help part, here are our ideas and options we’re thinking about for the day.

Lunch: Café Paradiso or The Ivory Tower

Photo by Alan Lynam via A Sociable Byte

Photo by Michael McDermott for New York Times

I’m a veggie and I love Café Paradiso – it’s the most amazingly creative and delicious vegetarian food I’ve ever had. However, my Dad, who’s in his seventies, would be very confused by the menu and wouldn’t consider himself properly fed unless there was meat on his plate. I’m also a huge fan of The Ivory Tower and pretty much everything Seamus O’Connell does – and the place is small enough that we’d probably be able to reserve the whole place for our group. The only drawback is whether it will be open on the day – it’s had problems over the years with food safety authority closures.

Ceremony: Cork Vision Centre, Glucksman Gallery, Triskel Christchurch, or National Sculpture Factory

Via Cork Vision Centre

Vis UCC

Photo by Mike Hannon via Triskel Christchurch

Via National Sculpture Factory

So many options! A friend of a friend got married last summer in Cork Vision Centre and loved it – it has a soft spot in my heart as well because of the cats that hang around outside at night, sitting on the spotlights for warmth. Badger and I both studied in UCC and would love to get married in the Glucksman – it’s bright and airy and full of art. Triskel Christchurch is a truly amazing venue – it’s very new so they probably haven’t been formally approved as a civil ceremony venue yet but looks like it would tick all the boxes! The National Sculpture Factory would also make for a really unique venue but would probably require a fair bit of set up.

Reception: Camden Palace Hotel, Upstairs at the Roundy,or Cork Cricket Club

Via Camden Palace Hotel

Via The Roundy

Via Cork Cricket Club

Camden Palace Hotel is a not for profit arts collective in a building on the Quays which used to be a courthouse. There’s a ballroom upstairs available for rent – and I’d be happy to think that the money we pay for a venue is going to support the arts. It would need some set up though to make it suitable for use, but would definitely accommodate our numbers. Upstairs at the Roundy is a smaller space and I’ve been to lovely concerts there – the advantage of course is that there’s a full bar available – but might be a bit of a tighter squeeze. For either of these venues, we would like to bring in outside catering – I’d particularly like if Café Gusto expanded their business into this market as their evening menu cichetti are absolutely fantastic and great value too. The final venue option is the Cork Cricket Club on the Mardyke – it’s got a lovely old pavilion which would be great for mingling and dancing, and we could even do a barbecue, or (I know this is going to make me sound like a hipster but I’m not sure I care) food trucks! outside on the lawn.

So there’s a lot of choices for us in the Cork option – just a matter of figuring out what works best and how to make it happen! Thoughts, comments and tips always welcome.

 

 

So far, we’ve whittled our venue options down to three actual possibilities – one each in Dublin, Cork and Galway. I’m throwing them out here to see how people feel about them as we haven’t really made up our own minds yet – every possibility has its drawbacks. Our general approach to the day is to have lunch with parents, siblings and the broomal brigade (yep we're still calling it that) first, then the ceremony in the late afternoon, followed by a party with plenty of tapas, speeches, music and lots of dancing.

Dublin

Lunch: Chapter One, Parnell Square.

An excellent, Michelin-starred restaurant that both of us have only ever been to on special occasions, this place does serious food. It’s in an unlikely spot on the north side of the city, but lower rents mean more money to spend on delicious food and wine. There is a private room that can hold small parties so it would be good to have some space to ourselves.

Ceremony: Unitarian Church, St Stephen’s Green.

Via Brosnan Photographic

This is the bit I feel funniest about – because it’s the only option that includes a church ceremony. Badger likes it – because he thinks it might appeal to my religious (Catholic) family, without actually compromising any of our own beliefs, since the Unitarians are a pretty relaxed bunch – believing in things like reason and tolerance, and even counting some non-theists among their number. Seems like a pretty non-hierarchical type of community, and one that values gender equality and marries everyone – gay or straight. The church is in a lovely spot too, and is very nice inside. We could go skipping through the bluebells in Stephen’s Green afterwards too, which could be fun.

Reception: Fallon & Byrne, Exchequer Street.

Via Menu Pages

Any weekend we’re in Dublin we always end up in this place. Whether to stroll through the grocery section on the ground floor, grab lunch in the cafe or a glass of wine in the cellar – it’s a firm favourite. They have a function room which caters for weddings – although to be honest I’d prefer to hire out the wine cellar but I’m pretty sure that wouldn’t be a runner. Food is excellent, they can do some buffet-style stuff which we’d prefer to a formal sit down dinner, it’s possible to get a late license and there’s room for a band. On the upside, the Dublin option is all eminently feasible, all of the venues would work well for what we want and all have experience in doing what we need so there shouldn’t be any major mishaps on the day. However, neither of us has the same connection to Dublin as we do to Cork or Galway (although Badger works there right now) and it would mean a longer journey for most of our guests. Plus, I’m still a bit iffy about the church thing, but I might get over it. Stay tuned for the next installment on Cork coming soon – in the meantime, I’d love to hear from Dubliner foodies and event organisers with tips to share.

For me, it was important to have a longer engagement to get used to the whole ‘we’re actually getting married’ stuff. I mean, I'm hardly Audrey Tatou - but when we decided to do this, we were talking roughly about a two year timeframe. So that gave me a good reason for being happy and excited about the whole thing for a few months, and having fun conversations about things we ‘might’ do, without having to actually have to do any of the stressful planning stuff. The wedding was far enough away that I could say to people who had needling questions about plans, ‘oh it’s aaaages away! We haven’t decided anything yet.’

However, the downside to this is that we haven’t decided anything yet. Sounds pretty obvious, no? On the one hand, I needed the time and space, and on the other, I eventually started to feel a niggling feeling that we haven’t actually done any of the basic stuff – like asking people to be in what we’re only half jokingly referring to as our ‘broomal’ brigade,* or deciding what county/city we’re getting married in.  

So this week I sat down to write out some of the more realistic options we’d discussed. The problem was, during those first ‘dreamy’ months I had time to cultivate visions of getting married in community centres (see here), decorated and set up by our friends, and receptions in abandoned warehouses with a full jazz ensemble and amazing cocktails. When we actually got down to the nuts and bolts of stuff though, it was a bit more difficult.

The first thing that changes from daydreaming to reality, is ruling out venues based on the size of your guest list. I had always thought we would have a small wedding, just surrounded by the people we REALLY like. When I was talked into inviting aunts and uncles (because I am very fond of my cousins, just not all of their parents, but apparently, that’s not cool) and we wrote down just a list of everyone we really wanted to be there – it hit a hundred.

And all the small venues I really liked just had to go. It was hard letting them go – because those were the cool, off the beaten track type places where I’d feel really comfortable. But I did eventually, because cheesy as it sounds, being surrounded by people who have watched us grow up, people who have gone crazy-dancing with us, people we’ve spent hours having tea with – is more important than having the perfect venue.

Of course, Badger knew that from the start. Also, he listened to my DIY plans with more than a little apprehension (But won’t that be a lot of extra work? Won’t we get really stressed? Do we want to be stressed at our wedding just so we can have the party in a disused shed?) So I’m learning. A little. (I’m still trying to get a café we love which has never done outside catering to serve tapas to 100 people in an art gallery though. So not letting go of my whimsical notions entirely).

 

* A 'bridal brigade' is what they call it on A Practical Wedding, and if you haven't already, you need to read this. I can't find any way to combine 'bridal' and 'groom' that isn't ridiculous.

Image credit: By Rachey-Roo via Deviant Art

 

This week I did a serious wardrobe cleanout, motivated by the fact that I'm moving house soon.  So to reward myself for my good work, I am allowing myself to ogle fabulous frocks which could potentially be good wedding dresses. Here are this week's favourites:

I just love printed silk. Oh Valentino, how lovely you are.

Ah Vivienne Westwood. This one is so summery and full of joy it almost makes me want to wear white.

And a bit of metallic shimmer to finish from Lela Rose.

So, over the holidays, while I was home, I did a bit of sneaky venue scouting. I went on a little road trip to a cafe and guesthouse I remember liking in a village not so far away, and then wandered on to another neighbouring village where I'd heard about an old church which had been turned into an arts centre. The cafe/guesthouse (Glanworth Mills, in case anyone's interested) seemed to have closed for good, but it's in a lovely spot (tucked underneath a crumbling old castle) and it was still nice to wander around. 

Glanworth Mills, below Glanworth Castle

Tiny rickety bridge next to the Mills

I got uncommonly excited when I visited my next stop, Kilworth Arts Centre. First off, it has a protected bat roost. A BAT ROOST! Secondly, it was officially opened by one of my all time heroes. I couldn't see inside but it seems to have had lots of concerts and seats about 100 which would be perfect for us.

Kilworth Arts Centre

Opened by Mary Robinson!

Bat roost!

Of course, if we used this venue, we'd probably still have to find somewhere else nearby to feed everyone afterwards. A minor problem, but in my enthusiasm, I was not going to be deterred! This led to our first wedding ‘discussion in raised voices’ (Badger says we never fight). It went something like this:

Me: See look? We could get married here - in an arts centre! With bats! Wouldn’t that be fun?

Badger: Wouldn’t that be a lot of work? And we can't have the party afterwards in there - they don't have any cooking facilities or tables or a liquor license or anything.

Me: Yeah but... Well can't we have the party in the Mills then? It seems closed but maybe it will have opened again by then - or maybe we can just hire it for the day and bring in outside catering.

Badger: Wouldn't that be a lot of work though? Like we'd have to make sure the place was properly heated and rent tables and chairs and have someone set them up and what if they didn’t do it properly and who would bring the glasses and tableware and wouldn’t you have to rent a bar and stuff? Why don't we just go to a hotel where they sort all that stuff out for you?

Me: Because hotels are expensive. And you are ruining my fun.

Badger: Hiring all that stuff and paying people to set it up probably costs quite a bit - and then we'd have all the stress of organising the whole thing ourselves. I think maybe you just want to get married somewhere kooky and alternative to be different.

So then I sulked for a while. But there's truth in what was said, and I know that to pull off something like this we would have to call in a lot of favours, and stress out friends and family by asking them to take charge of things - and we'd still worry that something would go horribly wrong (of course, I argued that they could still go horribly wrong in a hotel, but we probably wouldn't feel as bad about it). I still kind of like the idea though - but putting it on the backburner for now.

 

So on a slightly lighter, but still serious, note, I've started trawling the interwebs for potential readings we can include in our ceremony. I've been looking for things that describe a sense of community that I can get behind - since we are going to be doing this thing in front of our friends and family, after all. Also, readings that capture the sense of adventure I feel about the whole process we're embarking on - something uplifting that says 'Isn't this exciting? Are we mad for doing this? What the hell, let's do it anyway.' For anyone who's also looking, I can highly recommend this indiebride thread where I've found all sorts of useful things.

Here are one or two things I like so far, and I'm still searching for readings in a similar vein, although finding the 'community'-oriented ones a bit harder to track down.

From Ulysses - Alfred, Lord Tennyson

There lies the port; the vessel puffs her sail; 
There gloom the dark, broad seas. My mariners, 
Souls that have toiled, and wrought, and thought with me--- 
That ever with a frolic welcome took 
The thunder and the sunshine, and opposed 
Free hearts, free foreheads--Come, my friends.

Tis not too late to seek a newer world. 
Push off, and sitting well in order smite 
the sounding furrows; for my purpose holds 
To sail beyond the sunset, and the baths 
Of all the western stars, until I die. 
It may be that the gulfs will wash us down; 
It may be that we shall touch the Happy Isles, 
And see the great Achilles, whom we knew. 
Though much is taken, much abides; and though 
We are not now that strength which in old days 
Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are--- 
One equal temper of heroic hearts, 
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will 
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield. 

It definitely has that sense of adventure I like, plus, the line 'that which we are, we are - one equal temper of heroic hearts' really does it for me.

From Song of the Open Road - Walt Whitman

Afoot and light-hearted I take to the open road, 
Healthy, free, the world before me, 
The long brown path before me leading wherever I choose. 

Henceforth I ask not good-fortune, I myself am good-fortune, 
Henceforth I whimper no more, postpone no more, need nothing, 
Done with indoor complaints, libraries, querulous criticisms, 
Strong and content I travel the open road. 

Here is the test of wisdom, 
Wisdom is not finally tested in schools, 
Wisdom cannot be pass'd from one having it to another not having it, 
Wisdom is of the soul, is not susceptible of proof, is its own proof, 
Applies to all stages and objects and qualities and is content, 
Is the certainty of the reality and immortality of things, and the 
excellence of things; 
Something there is in the float of the sight of things that provokes 
it out of the soul. 

Allons! the road is before us! 
It is safe--I have tried it--my own feet have tried it well--be not 
detain'd! 
Let the paper remain on the desk unwritten, and the book on the 
shelf unopen'd! 
Let the tools remain in the workshop! let the money remain unearn'd! 
Let the school stand! mind not the cry of the teacher! 
Let the preacher preach in his pulpit! let the lawyer plead in the 
court, and the judge expound the law. 

Camerado, I give you my hand! 
I give you my love more precious than money, 
I give you myself before preaching or law; 
Will you give me yourselp. will you come travel with me? 
Shall we stick by each other as long as we live? 

Isn't that last stanza just amazing? It gets me every time.

From A Farewell to Arms - Ernest Hemingway

At night, there was the feeling that we had come home, feeling no longer alone, waking in the night to find the other one there, and not gone away; all other things were unreal.  We slept when we were tired and if we woke the other one woke too so one was not alone.  Often a man wishes to be alone and a girl wishes to be alone too and if they love each other they are jealous of that in each other, but I can truly say we never felt that.  We could feel alone when we were together, alone against the others.  It has only happened to me like that once.  I have been alone while I was with many girls and that is the way you can be most lonely.  But we were never lonely and never afraid when we were together.  I know that the night is not the same as the day: that all things are different, that the things of the night cannot be explained in the day, because they do not then exist, and the night can be a dreadful time for lonely people once their loneliness has started.  But with Catherine there was almost no difference in the night except that it was an even better time.  

I know, I know, Hemingway is not exactly a man you should look up to when it comes to marriage. But I do quite like this passage.

From Letters - Rainer Maria Rilke

Loving does not at first mean merging, surrendering, and uniting with another person (for what would a union be of two people who are unclarified, unfinished, and still incoherent?), it is a high inducement for the individual to ripen, to become something in himself, to become world, to become world in himself for the sake of another person; it is a great, demanding claim on him, something that chooses him and calls him to vast distances.

The point of marriage is not to create a quick commonality by tearing down all boundaries; on the contrary, a good marriage is one in which each partner appoints the other to be the guardian of their solitude, and thus they show each other the greatest possible trust. A merging of two people is an impossibility, and where it seems to exist, it is a hemming-in, a mutual consent that robs one party or both parties of their fullest freedom and development. But once the realization is accepted that even between the closest people infinite distances exist, a marvelous living side by side can grow up for them, if they succeed in loving the expanse between them, which gives them the possibility of always seeing each other as a whole and before an immense sky.

Excerpts from two different letters I think, but ones that work well together.

So that's what I've found so far - I'd love to hear  suggestions of readings you've heard that might work (from any of you out there!)

Photo credit

So far it's been all light and fluffy here, and I fully intend to keep the planning of this shindig in the realm of 'as little stress as possible.' So, without tearing my hair out about it, I wanted to share some thoughts about deciding what's important in how the day will work. We already know most of the important stuff - secular ceremony, good music, people we love, great food and wine, and of course, lots of cheesy dancing. Some of the traditional dilemmas were pretty much no brainers for us - i.e. we're both keeping our own names (I did try to convince Badger to take mine since he isn't overly fond of his, but sadly, professionally he is already known by it). But when you step outside the 'norm' of wedding planning you find there are lots more questions, ones you don't always have easy answers for.

One of the things we keep circling back to is our witnesses. Since we're having a civil ceremony, we need two witnesses. I have a best person, my closest friend outside of Badger, who is like a sister to me. Seriously, I mean, we have all these strange life coincidences – almost identical family dynamics, dramatic life events which happened to us both around the same time, a shared fondness for hot ports and Pictionary (preferably combined) and so on. I love her to pieces and I absolutely want her standing up there during the ceremony, grinning like mad at me, so obviously, I would love her to be my witness.

Badger has a couple of friends who he’s quite close to, one he’s known since starting college and one from postgraduate days, both of whom are a fairly big part of his life. I am very fond of them both, and and neither of us want to have to do any sort of choosing between them. In theory, one could be a witness and the other could do a 'best man'-type speech, but we're not sure how that would go down. Badger is a pretty relaxed person though, and he reckons all this stuff will work itself out in the run up to the event.

And then, just to make things a bit interesting, there's my Dad. My mum died a few years ago so the day will probably be a bit emotional for us. Added to that will be his inevitable disappointment that I'm not getting married in a church. And here's where it starts to get complicated - I don't want to be walked down the aisle. Partly because I feel uncomfortable with the 'giving away' aspect to it (and yes, I know it doesn't have to mean that, so I'm trying to get past it). I'm not even sure there will be an aisle, come to think of it. But I want to figure out something that my Dad can do on the day that makes him very much a part of the ceremony, something that doesn't make me cringe.

So I started to think about whether my Dad should be my witness. My Dad is a man of few words, and I can't remember the last time I heard him speak in public, so while he will definitely have the opportunity to say a few words after the ceremony, that might not be his style. I started to think that maybe it would mean a lot to him to be my witness, and my best person, being the star that she is, would understand. Or, I could just get over the whole 'aisle' thing and have him included that way.

I'm still mulling it over, but would appreciate wise words from anyone who has them to spare.